The Prostitute’s Union and Other Great Things About Austin
By Editor | March 6, 2008
Thinking about moving to Austin in the near future? Or maybe you already live here, but you’d like to renew your appreciation for the city? In either case, this article is for you. In this special feature, the editors of The Austin Probe (your premier source for Austin news) have listed their favorite things about the city of Austin, Texas:
1. The Rattlesnakes are Friendly
A survey by the North American Society for Herpetological Research found that the rattlesnakes in the greater Austin area are less likely to strike than rattlesnakes elsewhere in the country. The rattlesnakes in Austin have even been described as “laid back and easygoing. Of course, we are not recommending that you test this theory for yourself, because the stupidity of humans is often enough to overcome the
2. The Prostitutes are Unionized
Austin is one of only two cities in the United States (the other being Las Vegas) where the “ladies of the night” have their own union. The first union chapter was established in 1976, and today there are several chapters.
The prostitutes in Austin are not only taxpaying citizens, but also a powerful lobby group. They are a critical essential thread in the fiber of Austin, Texas.
3. The Bats are Bilingual
The Mexican free-tail bats that spend two-thirds of their lives beneath the Congress Avenue Bridge in downtown Austin speak two languages — bat and dolphin. It’s a phenomenon known as audio mimicry, wherein the bats can duplicate the exact sounds made by bottlenose dolphins. In one study, a bat inside a bell jar wired for sound guided a bottlenose dolphin through an underwater maze.
4. The Wildflowers are Smoke-able
Austin is known for its beautiful wildflowers that bloom in early spring, such as the famous bluebonnet and the colorful Indian blanket. What many people do not know is that nearly a third of Austin’s wildflower species can deliver a mild narcotic effect when smoked. Just don’t try to smoke the bluebonnets … they’re a protected species.
5. The Panhandlers are Creative
The panhandlers who hang out by Austin’s intersections are some of the most creative in the world. While panhandlers nationwide have taken to washing windows for spare change, only in Austin will you see panhandlers perform dental cleanings for idling motorists.
Austin panhandlers also recite works of Shakespeare on demand, and some have been seen offering financial and psychiatric advice for mere pocket change.
6. The Lakes are Prehistoric
Some of the lakes around Austin predate the continental breakup of Pangea 250 million years ago. There have been frequent sightings and other anecdotal evidence of “Lock Ness like” creatures within the lakes, thought to be the isolated descendants of the Plesiosaur or a similar species of marine dinosaur.
7. The Police are Magical
In an effort to strengthen the bond between police and the local community, Austin officials have created a “Magic Cop” program that trains police officers to perform magic tricks. Sure, you might still get a citation for littering or parking illegally, but you may also get to witness the handcuff escape maneuver or the always-popular “Levitating Ticketbook.”
Sound Off Austin
What do you like about Austin? What did we forget to include on our list? Share your favorite things about Austin with other readers by using the “Comments” tool below.
Topics: Around Town |