Remains of Fifth Dentist Found in Shallow Grave
By Editor | November 23, 2007
Austin, Texas - 11/23/07 — Police announced that the skeletal remains of the mysterious “fifth dentist” were discovered yesterday in a stretch of woods of South Austin.
Anyone who owns a television has probably heard the gum advertisements citing how “Four out of five dentists recommend [product] to their patients…” Over the years, in fact, many commercials and news releases have begun with the phrase four out of five dentists, or something similar to it.
But for many years the question has been: Where did the fifth dentist go? Why was he or she always been absent from the polling?
The answer may have been found yesterday in a stretch of woods in Austin, Texas. A jogger out for some Thanksgiving exercise noticed a patch of dirt that resembled a grave. He approached the area out of curiosity, and that’s when he noticed the rotted remains of a boot sticking out of the ground.
“It was almost completely buried,” said the witness, who asked to remain anonymous. “I’m guessing nobody would have ever noticed the skeleton. But it looked like an animal had gotten into it and uncovered the guy’s foot enough for me to see it.”
The skeleton of note is believed to be that of J. Edgar Riley, who authorities claim is the mysterious “fifth dentist” absent from industry polls for many years.
Image: Remains of fifth dentist found in Austin grave. Police file photo.
“You always heard about four out of five dentists,” said Detective James Hackleby. “Four out of five dentists say this … four out of five dentists say that. We always wondered, where is the fifth dentist, and why is he never included in these dental polls? I’ve had my suspicion of foul play for a long time, but I’ve kept quiet about it. And now this.”
Though details of the case are still being kept quiet, local police say they have not ruled out homicide.
“It stinks to high Heaven of some kind of dental jealousy,” said Hackelby. “We are questioning the other four dentists to see if they have any information. We’re keeping everything on the table at this point, and that’s about all I can say.”
Topics: Austin News |