Austin News
« Previous EntriesMan Receives Chimpanzee Nipples During Landmark Surgery
Monday, March 17th, 2008An Austin, Texas man has made medical history by being the first person to receive ape nipples via surgical transplant.
William Hartwell, a 54-year-old auto mechanic from North Austin, received the nipples and areola (colored area around the nipples) of a male chimpanzee that died of natural causes. The nipples of the two species — human […]
Cougar Scent - New Cologne Attracts Older Women on the Prowl
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008A new cologne for men has been scientifically designed to attract older women in search of a younger man. The cologne, developed by Austin-based ScentMark Industries Inc., was four years in the making and could hit stores as early as this spring.
If you are not familiar with a “cougar” in the urban slang sense of […]
Teens Wrestle Strangers to Fight Boredom During Writers Strike
Saturday, January 19th, 2008Austin, TX - With most television programs in reruns due to the Hollywood writers’ strike, teenage boys in Austin have turned to an alternative (and illegal) form of entertainment — wrestling total strangers in the street.
We have all felt the effects of the writers’ strike in Hollywood. Some of our favorite shows are stuck […]
13 Senior Citizens Injured in Worst Granny Pileup Since 1988
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008Austin, TX - January 1, 2007 — It was a bad start to the new year for many elderly Austinites on Tuesday, as a store promotion led to the worst pileup of senior citizens in nearly two decades.
When John Spencer came to work on New Year’s Day, he had a bad feeling in […]
Austin Man Marries Plasma TV to Spite His Wife
Saturday, December 15th, 2007Austin, TX - 12/15/07 — An Austin man elopes to Las Vegas and marries his plasma television set to spite his wife who frequently told him he should marry the TV.
Editor’s Note: Without even trying, we seem to be on a streak of unusual marriage stories. Earlier this week, we brought you news about an […]
Truth in Spam: Woman Marries Nigerian Prince
Wednesday, December 12th, 2007Austin, TX - December 12, 2007 — When Austin resident Harriet Tubbs received an email from a self-proclaimed Nigerian prince with financial woes, her first impression was spam and fraud. She never imagined a love story could come out of it.
Harriet Tubbs is certainly not new to the Internet. The marathon runner and divorced mother […]
24-Hour Michael Bolton Station Declares Bankruptcy
Monday, December 3rd, 2007Austin, TX - 12/3/07 — Austin, Texas fans of the singer Michael Bolton will have one less thing to celebrate this holiday season. The 24-hour Michael Bolton radio station will be going off their airwaves later today.
For nearly five months, “Bolton 106 FM” has been a dream come true for die-hard Michael Bolton fans. […]
Remains of Fifth Dentist Found in Shallow Grave
Friday, November 23rd, 2007Austin, Texas - 11/23/07 — Police announced that the skeletal remains of the mysterious “fifth dentist” were discovered yesterday in a stretch of woods of South Austin.
Anyone who owns a television has probably heard the gum advertisements citing how “Four out of five dentists recommend [product] to their patients…” Over the years, in fact, many […]
Turkeys Terrorize Elementary School After Fundraiser Goes Awry
Thursday, November 15th, 2007Austin, TX - 11/14/07 — An Austin, Texas elementary school went into full lock-down mode yesterday as rampaging turkeys struggled to get inside.
When you think of turkey hunting, you would normally think of man as the hunter and the turkey as the prey. But an unusual turn of events reversed that relationship Wednesday, when more […]
Austin Man Paints Himself Into Corner, Trapped for 24 Hours
Sunday, November 11th, 2007Austin, TX - 11/11/07 — An elderly man painted himself into a corner of his North Austin home and was trapped there for more than 24 hours as the paint dried.
The story unfolded in the Wells Branch area of North Austin on Saturday. The man, who lives alone, was renovating his one-story home and had […]